Right now there is something very magical for our “pixie of a girl” in just slightly opening the kitchen pantry door and touching the recycled plastic bags inside. Many, many times just this morning she needed to cross the kitchen floor from her chair and feel the sandwich bags on the shelf with her finger tips.  It also soothes her if the door can just stay ajar but, we usually close it in hopes it will help distinguish this behavior…. it’s not working.

This morning the plastic crunch began to avalanche on me as we all were running in and out of the small kitchen trying to get ready for work or school. Before I could spring a leak I heard my newsprint sketchbook call out to me. ( I strategically had placed it in the kitchen recently hoping it would help me draw more.) “Hey you, remember me?  It’s paper voice cut through the forming dark clouds above my head, “You placed me here a few months ago hoping I could help you vent instead of screaming internally or externally. This may be a good time to try me out, NOW!!!!!”

I grabbed it, searched for the recycled apple sauce container that held the charcoal and began to make heavy marks. There wasn’t time to be a perfectionist, but just enough time to discharge and validate my existence.  Making a visual that represents a moment in time can be reassuring and healing for me. I hope this practice takes hold. Who knows it may help open new doors for both of us.